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Well Big Weekend passed and I am feeling a little better. I have come to conclusion that Thomas is my good friend and thatapos;s it. We are only friends and nothing more. There are some things about him that I donapos;t know if i could handle if we went out. Like how we went to the library the other day and I had to leave to get my instrument. When I came back he had left the table with his newspaper laying around and his powerade bottle sitting there. Not only did it bother me that he had left the stuff but that the trash can was literally 5ft away. Ugh. But I love his walk with God. The fact heapos;s still "pure" and he loves life as much� as he does makes me wish I could be with him. I guess I am satisfied just being his friend though. Maybe further down the road if its what God wants we can be more for right now and for a while i highly doubt I could be any more with him. I also have been talking more and more to Kobby every night. I really wish heapos;d leave nic and come back to me. I am so much better and can give him so much more...well I may be a little biased but still. I want him so bad. Ugh.

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Mr. Paul L has decided that he wants to try to still be friends with me...
This is the same man who couldnapos;t decide to treat me like a woman when we were dating (patronizing fuck head... Until he wanted head)

The same man who after I broke up with him because of said behavior ran around spreading lies about me "She threatened to tell the school that I was seeing her" which he used with small success to get laid by friend of a friend (I was 17, and typical kinda crazy, but Iapos;ve never been that particular breed of ASSHOLE - I have wayyyy too much integrity for those games).

A man I gave a chance to redeem himself only to have him resort to his old tactics of treating me like shit and being a patronizing fuck head. (I still have the chat logs)

Shall I give him a Third Chance at being a decent human being???
No... I think not.
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I am kind of drunk right now but there will be no typos because Iapos;m going to proof read this shit like 10 times before I post it.

A lot of things happen to me and I donapos;t know how I feel about them. Mostly just�UNENTHUSED. Shit donapos;t faze me. Looking back, I feel like things have gone downhill... Fast. If my life were a sitcom, the laughtrack would be played every 2 seconds and everyone would have a good laugh at my expense.

This morning I found out someone vomited in my sink last night and made out with me. And tonight some shit lipped bastard on the street yelled that they wanted to pee on me. Fuck off, asshole, youapos;re not R. Kelly. Youapos;re not worth millions and youapos;re not black, so youapos;re not giving me a golden shower, aight? Some fuckers sitting in a tree (YES IN A TREE, FUCKING HIPPIES) called me a NAZI... Um Iapos;m not even white? Haters always raggin on a sista, goddamn.

I want to fight and rip someone a new asshole tonight but instead Iapos;m eating some leftover broccoli, trying to hold down my box wine,�and cuddling with my Furby. In fact, I want to rip a hundred new assholes and collect them in a jar.

OHHHH LIFEEEE.

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Cam had his first swim lesson yesterday and wouldnapos;t go in the water YIKES i hope he does on monday or iapos;ve just wasted a bunch of money

Iapos;m loving the new job.

Went for wings on tuesday with keegan and Ty. Then Ty came to work today to take me out for lunch. Going to the rollerrink with Ty tomorrow night. (Ty has been a friend for about 3 years, but slowly iapos;ve been going a crush on him...but nooooo nothing yet).
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Self-proclaimed maturity without capitalization is hee-larious

Iapos;m looking at digital cameras (as I have a minuscule amount of money saved) and I havenapos;t the foggiest what Iapos;m going to get. Suggestions?

I want something good with awesome clarity and a decent zoom. None of this 3x nonsense.
(Iapos;m sure that I will be much happier with a resolution higher than 4 megapixels too).

I donapos;t want anything terribly complicated. I would bust out my for-reals 35 mm if I wanted that.

Thatapos;s all.
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